May 2013
5 posts
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I will never mock the gecko again
I called Geico and actually did save more than 15% on my auto insurance.
Whoa.
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April 2013
10 posts
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“I hate rats. When I go to Venice, I’m NOT going under that “ten”.”
– My 5 yr old son while watching Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade
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Trying to see a special feature on a Netflix...
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That hurts.
The best part of running a half-marathon was seeing my family at the finish line and having them cheer me on the last 20 yards. Hearing that the casualties in the Boston attacks were people cheering on loved ones breaks my heart.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say...”
– Fred Rogers (via thorne-performance)
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From "Downton Abbey" to "90210" in 20 minutes.
Anyone ever notice that somewhere between “Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine,” and “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”…Princess Leia loses her English accent?
tctisi:
It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana are being legalized at the same time. Leviticus 20:13 says if a man lays with another man, he should be stoned. We were just misinterpreting it.
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"Ebert Liked It"
These were the words I spoke on most Friday’s when deciding what movie we should watch. RIP, Roger.
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I Guess That Was Long Enough
I got laid off today. Survived 14 years and countless “headcount adjustments.”
“This place is dead anyways.”
March 2013
6 posts
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I'm pretty sure it was poisonous.
Have you ever been outside in shorts and suddenly felt something crawling on your calf and reacted by violently kicking so hard that you thought you tore your ACL? Yeah, me neither.
My limp? That’s from something else.
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Rewatched "Lost" S1:E1
Holy shit was that a show! I forgot how awesome it was. Maybe 3 other pilots ever have hooked me faster (Alias, Buffy, FNL, maybe Battlestar).
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My Christian friend: This country was founded as a Christian nation.
Me: Say what? No, that's absolutely false! Wait, come to think of it, when this country was founded, women were treated as second class citizens and slavery was OK. Hmm...that *does* sound like the Bible. I take it back, you're right.
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February 2013
17 posts
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Don't worry Billy Dee, I set him straight.
Found out the other day that my 5 year old son thought the actor who portrayed Lando Calrissian was a young mustached Barack Obama.
“Daddy, in Return Of The Jedi, how did Obama get into Jabba’s Palace?”
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Look up, not out
All the money that countries around the world spend on protection from other human beings that are just slightly different from themselves, and it will probably be a rock from space that kills us all.
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Valen-chumps Day
It was a cold February afternoon back in 2001. It was Valentines Day. My wife and I had only been married about 5 weeks, so I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid…like forget to bring something home. The Randall’s supermarket across from my office had put up a huge tent in their parking lot for people like me. Check that…for guys like me. Guys who waited until the afternoon of the 14th...
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January 2013
17 posts
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Wolverine and Catwoman were AWESOME in Les Mis.
Borat, Bellatrix, and Maximus were good, too. High marks all around.
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Foul-mouthed liberty: Fox News's Eric Bolling:... →
abaldwin360:
(The Raw Story) - Fox News host Eric Bolling on Wednesday accused some schools of “pushing the liberal agenda” for teaching an algebra lesson about the distributive property.
During a segment about “indoctrination in schools,” Bolling reminded viewers of a 2009 video of…
When I was taught subtraction in public school, my teacher used the “borrowing” method....
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