Soylent Green for the Soul

May you have a merry holiday filled with family, friends, and a glass of your favorite cheer.

Science me, Dr. Tyson!

Science me, Dr. Tyson!

The first domino falls.
8 yr old daughter: Mommy, are you the tooth fairy?
my wife: What do you think?
daughter: Can I be honest? I saw you sneak into my room and take my tooth and leave money.
my wife and I: <LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF>
my wife: Yes, baby…we are the tooth fairy. How do you feel about that? You OK?
daughter: Yes.
Tryptophan : me :: Ivan Drago : Apollo Creed
I&#8217;m not gonna lie, I&#8217;m pretty proud of this one. #songlyricaday #jinglebells

I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty proud of this one. #songlyricaday #jinglebells

#songlyricaday #sammyHagar #icantdrive55

#songlyricaday #sammyHagar #icantdrive55

I decided to come up with my own &#8220;photo-a-day&#8221; idea. #songLyricADay #oneWeek #bareNakedLadies

I decided to come up with my own “photo-a-day” idea. #songLyricADay #oneWeek #bareNakedLadies

Like A Secret Fraternity

The reaction I get from complete strangers when I wear this shirt out is AWESOME. I wore this to ACL Fest last weekend and no fewer than a dozen people stopped me to tell me they loved the shirt. My favorite was a college age guy walking like 20 feet away from me who yelled, “There’s always money in the banana stand!”

Breaking Bad on the brain

6 yr old son: Daddy, today at school we talked about Meth.
Me: WHAT?!
Son: we talked about how 10 plus 10 is 20.
Me: *MATH* oh, you talked about math.
Son: That’s what I said.

Autocorrect knows what&#8217;s up.

Autocorrect knows what’s up.

Cognitive Dissonance is alright...if you're 7
7 yr old daughter: Raise your hand if you believe in God! <no hand raised>
me: <no hand raised>
my 5 yr old son: <no hand raised>
me: So you guys don't believe in God? Why not?
7 yr old: A guy who lives in the sky and knows everything? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
< a week later>
7 yr old daughter: Daddy, is Santa real or is it mommies and daddies?
me: Uh...what do you think?
7 yr old daughter: I think he's real because mommies and daddies wouldn't stay up all night putting together presents. THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!

Me on Sundays.

Just switched from Windows to Mac at work&#8230;

Just switched from Windows to Mac at work…